– Dream:
To Vijyakumar – “Uncle has friends everywhere to help him!”
He has just got a loan without any hassle.
– This guy, after listening to the 3 interviews with people who have been influenced by U. G. Krishnamurti, says that the main thing he got out of it was UG’s advice to (a depressed) Mahesh Bhatt about going back into the world of showbiz and pursuing his ambitions by competing and achieving…!
– Ejaculatory prayer
Financial inflation ~ spiritual _____?
– Distinguish:
– “Dear Z,
I was thinking of you, and I wanted to say this:
1. What will be your core role as you take up leadership in ABCD?
2. What is your chief calling as an individual?
3. What is your vision & mission as a Christian?
3 >> 2 >> 1″
“I think you are essentially a student & preacher of the Bible/Gospel.
And this must continue to be your focus even as you take up this new task.
That will never change no matter where you are & what position you hold!
“Therefore, you are NOT (primarily) a counselor, or organizer or strategist or thinker or motivator, etc., etc…”
“Evangelist-pastor might be a good job description!”
– Suicide ~ homicide ~ deicide
– Christ/Kingdom/Gospel <– Spirit/Church/Word
– Act. 8:34-35 (NET)
“Then the eunuch said to Philip, “Please tell me, who is the prophet saying this about — himself or someone else?”
So Philip started speaking, and beginning with this scripture proclaimed the good news about Jesus to him.”
– Maybe the first Christians (the Apostles) did not get the true & full meaning of the Cross of Christ, just like the Jews did not get the Crux of the OT, which Jesus later came to reveal……!
So, who/what is going to reveal the NT to us??
– Karl Barth said we need to hold the Bible in one hand, and the newspapes in the other. But what are the elements (of true spirituality) missing here?
– Old/Middle English
– AAp’s defeat in MCD election, another black day for Indian politics!
Suicides and homicides broadcast over social media! Why??
Why was Ivanka Trump appointed as the POTUS’s assistant??
France, divided into 2, just as the USA in the last presidential election – Macron ~ Hillary & Le Pen ~ Trump
NITI Aayog
– Ignorance –> illusion –> misery
– “There is no mind/self. Once that is knocked off, then there is no way of you knowing now, what you are left with!” – UGK
“There no way of experiencing resurrection from this side of death.” – RFC
– UGK & “the natural state” – has he ejected the fruit of knowledge, and eaten from the tree of life instead?!
– Being entertained by the suffering of others!
– Biology
Sensuality + culture + spirituality
– It is human to be inhuman,
And it is inhuman to be human.
– Pure being
“Just do it!”
– The courage to give up.
Do you want it?
– I know how I can (more than) compensate for not going through the full Vipassana course!
Peering into the VOID
Suicide is the only way to (lose) salvation.
– “All argument is circular”
Where/how did this new paradigm come about??
– The only unforgivable sin is unforgiveness.
– Abandoning spirituality
Observing existence instead of passionate living
The perfect circle
– Signal – the writing on the wall
– The freedom of material necessity
The law of spiritual reason
– Achieving perfect resignation
– Plurality ~ fullness
All in, & from, nothing!
“The centre cannot hold.” – Yeats
– symbology
figure (v.)
– ellipsis ~ ellipse29.4.17

– Priority – physiological instinct & situational urgency over abstract thought & cultivated conscience


– The only way to get rid of egocentrism & ethnocentrism, is to attack & destroy their father – anthropocentrism!

– 3 levels of reality:
1. Metaphysical VOID
2. Biological process
3. Cultural consciousness
This is the right side up.
So start inverting the upside down order.
The body is caught between 1 & 3. For too long it has been dominated by the 3. It’s time to liberate it, by connecting it with the 1.
2.5 is psychology.
1.5 is where you wanna be!
Are 1 & 3 connected by a loop?!

– I cannot just accept UG’s saying that “there’s no way out”.
At least I want to know how I can live best, in light of this fact.
How can I make the most of what is given, in spite of the obvious limitations?

– The Fall ~ self-consciousness
Undeceive – we need to be disenchanted from our sense of self-importance & entitlement, as an entire race.

– Meditation as a purely physical exercise
– “Be content with your misery” – UGK
– Theology as meta-paradigm
– zeroing
Ordinal & cardinal
– Anamnesis & “aana paana”
– Creating > creation
– “Are all circularities vicious?”
“Nothing is (at) my center”
Metaphorics of the O
– Can my body be liberated from my mind, without killing itself?
Can the mind be killed by using the body?
No ego, no body!
– Redefining life as biological process, as opposed to the conscious self……
– Formative thinkers who challenge not only our beliefs, but actually reshape our mode of being in the world
– Perfect nihilism & coming full circle – the negation of negation, and the birth of the NEW
– Even the “One” begins with O! 😎
– ALT Balaji
Ekta Kapoor – now there’s a woman worth ogling!
– Examine ~ inspect ~ speculate
“A balance sheet of choices”
Irrational reality & rational truths
Sovereignty/calmness ~ steadiness/stability ~ confidence/strength
– Empire
– Learning to move from a pre-planned rule to a more organic system
If you don’t know what to do, just take a 10-15 minute break of silence, stillness & breathing.
Then you will be able to get back in touch with the wisdom of the body!
– Distinguish:


– Nothing (else) matters
Nothing (really) matters
Queen > Metallica!

– I don’t understand >> I want to understand >> I try to understand >> I don’t need to understand >> there is no understanding >> there is nothing to understand!
Understand?? 😈

– nothingness.org

– Rebirth
Born again

– If UGK is living in the natural state, then why is there no sexual bonding with the wife & genetic bonding with the kids & parents?

– Do as little as possible.
Become as great as possible!

– When you’re living, use 90% of income for yourself (& family) and give 10% for charity.
When you die, leave 50% of wealth as inheritance, & 50% for charity!

– Focus 80% of your time & energy on the interface between your inner & or world chiefly through your body

– The carnal man
The cultural man
The physical consciousness

The social psyche


– Distinguish:
– Movies:
“Ghost in the Shell” (1995)
Reproduction as reincarnation
Alright, but why choose ME??
The grades of maturity & the imperative of mentoring – Project 2501, Major & Batou
Was “Ex Machina” inspired by this film?
– Work on family:
Destroy marriage & transform parenting
– No more “Easter”, only “Resurrection Sunday”
Today at St. Luke’s was the gold standard for all RS worship services! 👏😇
Liberation from genetic traits, cultural forms, political powers & psychological strongholds >> exultatant, indomitable joy
I take refuge in the ever-present wounds of the living Jesus, as I struggle with my own finitude, frailty & fallibility……
Live ~ rise
Reign ~ triumph
This is a true champion – he doesn’t rest on his laurels, because he relishes the fight!
The Alleluia people who keep moving from Hosanna to Amen!
– escritoire
“very true”
– Music for every mood
– Distinguish:
– jamun
– Everyone must write all their remaining wealth to charity in their final will, instead of handing over everything to their own children as inheritance. This will ultimately lead to a more equitable world!
The best way to help poor people is definitely NOT by giving them money.
– Today is Easter Monday.
What is it?
– A blessed Resurrection Sunday to all who seek for, & suffer with, Jesus the Christ!
GLORY be 🕴🏼
Let everyone else stay asleep 😴
Resurrection is the hope that sustains those who suffer with Jesus, & the wounds of crucifixion are the hallmarks of those who will participate in the final glory…
Therefore, crucifixion & resurrection always go hand-in-hand. One cannot be understood or experienced apart from the other
Resurrection Sunday – REJOICE!
This is the key note of the Christian life. Never take anything too seriously.
Of course there are very important stuff to work & fight for, but all in a spirit of levity & gaiety……
The SABBATH now underlies & overarches every other day of the week.
Focus foremost on relaxing & enjoying, then everything else will fall into its rightful place.
This is the faith that not only conquers, but overturns this world 🌍
Anything includes even survival, etc.
– Martyr or apostate?
– Bliss ~ numb
Those who have tasted death (egolessness) by choice, shall live forever……
–  Be warned against a Christian (mis)interpretation of the Hebrew Bible!
And I call myself a Christian 😁
– Traditional ascription
Non-canonical scriptures
– Jewish orthodoxy & Christian heterodoxy
Christian orthodoxy &……?
– “The writer of this letter views his own days as evil, and for this reason, these ordinances of the Lord (which he writes) must be sought out diligently.”
Is religion a paranoia? Not always & not for everyone, but yes, mostly.
Is Christianity a religion? Yes (on the surface) & No (in truth)
“A new law which is without the yoke of necessity”
Divine obligation & human freedom
“All we need is to learn to read the signs”
Decipher ~ murder
You try to see Christ in the Scriptures by reading them symbolically, but what if Christ himself is a symbol, that arises from the Scriptural Jesus, and interprets/judges every place & time?!
Interpretation as the violent task of reconciling inconsistencies in the data – to create an intelligible picture of belief, out of the chaotic fragments of experience & practice.
The power of teaching and the teaching of power
The fear of the creator, the love of man and self-submission belong together
Virtue ~ grace & truth ~ integrity & generosity
– Overcoming (the desire to be released from) suffering
– Can peer pressure ever be good?
What does mysticism have to do with religion?
– “Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.”
– Tupac Shakur
Today’s cultural reality is nothing but the dream of yesterday’s society!
And tomorrow’s reality will be the creation of today’s dream.
Therefore myths are more powerful than facts!
In fact, TRUTH itself is myth
– tartare sauce
– If you really love me, then STOP helping me!
– Charity – only for:
  1. People in spiritual work, with no kids.
  2. Handicapped, elderly or children, with no one to help. Eg. Orphans
  3. The poorest of the poor. Help through NGOs
What about relatives and friends?
– When parents age & become dependent, they should move in to a house close to their adult son/daughter, and have a helper living with them.
They should not expect their offspring to move in with them, leaving all their dreams/plans, just to take care of them.
– This sudden tiredness makes me rethink my entire lifestyle! :-{
Maybe I AM a monk, trying to BE a “normal guy”……
– Can someone who has a full time job, is married, and has a child, have an optimal (personal/spiritual/holistic) life??
I DON’T believe that is possible, without seriously compromising at least one or two of the above mentioned areas (especially in an urban context)!
Show me at least one exception, and I will change my mind……
You (people) have NO clue about what you’re missing out on!
– Is your life shitty?
Defecate shame!
Acts 5:41 + Phil. 3:19
“So they left the council rejoicing because they had been considered worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name. “
“Their end is destruction, their god is the belly, they exult in their shame, and they think about earthly things.”
End ~ God ~ glory
Purpose >> destiny
See also Luke 6:22-23; 2 Macc 6:30
CHOOSE your shame!
WHO are you living before??
Gen. 17:1b
“I am the sovereign God. Walk before me and be blameless. “
(All Scripture references from NET version – refer notes also)
– The masses/mob/crowd/world
The person/individual/will/soul
– WHO wants to be stretched/challenged/pruned??
NOT me……!
How can I respect my limits and still continue to grow?
– GOD, the sovereign one – the one who grants/blesses and takes/judges
The ONE deity who controls BOTH fertility AND war, UNLIKE the other heathen gods.
– FUCK happiness
FUCK harmony
FUCK success
Instead, pursue the way to the True life/the true way to Life/the Truth about the living way/the living truth of the Way!
Death & resurrection
Nourishment & growth
From the GOD who protects, provides and guides,
To the spirit who inspires, subverts and (re)creates!
– When watching Angel TV with my mother today, I realized how (someone like) X must be seeing me, as I (or someone like me) might see (someone like) Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj – a fake prophet/charlatan/impostor!
– Methodological virtues
– Problems ~ challenges ~ opportunities
– heyday
buttonhole (v.)
– “The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.”
– Ambrose Bierce
Ha ha ha! Hmmm…… investing in the stock market is the gambling business currently in vogue.
– If UG is an optimally functioning body with no interference from mind/thought, then how come he still retained language knowledge & ability?
– Dream:
V (& R) and me are reconciled!




– Dialectic & erotics

Beautiful prudes & sexy adults

Erastes & eromenos

Love & desire

Vagina for pleasure, uterus for procreation, anus for……?

“Ideal eros, for Plato, is entirely a mind-fuck.”

Habitual themes of pleasure

Morality of renunciation

Hermeneutics of desire

Power play – “pederasty becomes pedagogy”

Doxa Vs. Episteme

“A complete break from the socializing patterns of the Athenian polis”

– Only through the experience of inequality/oppression does one become fit to live in a world of equality/justice!

– Honest self-concern & patient labor

Legion – the opposite of individual is demoniac!

“The single individual is the eternal truth, as against the crowd, which is always the untruth.”

– So, let’s sit down and talk about truth, life & the way – both yours & mine, acknowledging that even we both together, are inadequate to comprehend (them) fully.


– Tinder – could enkindling be an end in itself, without appeal to another goal, like enlightenment?

– This woman talks of her widow status as an advantage when it comes to being a parent!

– Having a child will be catastrophic for this couple!

She will no longer have margin and her spiritual life will be strangled by the busyness (cares & desires of this world).

It will be the same for him, but he will NEVER let that happen.

And their relationship will not have the space (to do the intimate and intricate work that) it needs to flourish…”

– When watching Angel TV (with my mother!) today, I realized that, “they” must be seeing me – just as I (or someone like me) might see (someone like) Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj – as a fake prophet!

– Rimbaud & Baudelaire

Nietzsche & Bataille 

Sade & Schusterman 

The absurd sublime 

The nihilistic ecstasy 

The sadomasochistic somaesthetics 

– Can the contents of the mind alter the structure of the brain itself?!

Software shapes hardware……….

– The atheological corpus

Victim ~ slave ~ weakling 

– “Burning Man” ~ Roman Catholic Mass 

Religious ritual!

Sacrifice as sacred violence.

Orgiastic festival 

– GOD is the head ~ there is NO head!

Theology as mystical discourse.

Sovereignty ~ anarchy

– “The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.”

– Marcus Aurelius

Cf. Soren Kierkegaard’s “The Crowd is Untruth”

Uniqueness requires impudence.

Without courage, every other virtue falls flat!

– Metta



– Compare & connect:

The movie “Mirrors” (especially the climax & last scene)


The book “Society of the Spectacle” (First chapter)


– Zao:

“I desire the end”


“At zero”

– Good Friday = Ambedkar Jayanthi

I am the Dalit – the sacrificed will be liberated today!


Refrain (double meaning)

– Bataille + Jung

The animus (spirit) within each person needs to sacrifice the anima (flesh).

But the act is very difficult both for the priest and for the victim, because of the inherent resistance to violate and the drive to survive!

– The Word/Son/Christ is the ego of the triune divinity, which is sacrificed at the Cross.

The war between the superego and the id destroys the ego, to create a new being – the Superman!?

– Singing “How great thou art” during the Way of the Cross today was so fitting and elating!

– It is deeply distressing and infuriating, to see how Lent and the Cross have been emptied of their radical and subversive power, and made into just another message of “piety” & “love”……! 

Why are the cosmic & political dimensions of the Cross consistently neglected by the Church, which focuses only on the clichéd slogan “Jesus died for you!”??

– “We have no king, but Caesar!” – Jews

“We have no god, but _____” – Christians

– “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” – Israel

“My people, how have I wronged you? Why have you strayed away from me?” – YHWH

– Transform ~ destroy

Destroy ~ transform

– Hope ~ wait

Wait ~ hope

– Psalm responsorial singing

– The only thing in the financial sector that is ethical is the service of lending personal & business loans (credit). 

Financial speculation & complex instruments (like the stock market, forex & commodities trading, etc.) are definitely pure evil! 
– Face ~ presence
– Do your domestic duties & perform your conventional social roles, in such a way that is radical & subversive! 

This, for most people, is far greater & much better, than just abandoning them for other more explicitly eternal/ideal works. 
– The Work


– If we move out of Chennai, then I would focus more on developing in self-education & formation, rather than trying to start some kind of ministry as soon as we get to the new place. 

Maybe we shouldn’t stay in one place for more than 5 years…?!
– Left the 10 day Vipassana course @ Dhamma Setu before it was over, saying I was getting depression again……! 

Was that true?? 

(I was greatly suffering from the over-frequent/heavy meditation sessions & the apparent pointlessness of it all…… 

Did Buddha really intend this as a kind of Indian psychoanalysis??) 

Did I run away like a coward, or did I pull out the parachute just in time? 

How are these other guys able to go through this torture? 

Why would anyone want to do this a second time? 

U. G. K was right about ‘enlightenment’!? 
– The 3 levels of the mind:

1. Social/cultural

2. Individual/personal

3. Inward/spiritual

All 3 are at war with each other! 

The third dimension is what you encounter in deep meditation. From this perspective, even my emphasis on individual freedom is undercut & relativized. Everything, including social roles & personal convictions, is nothing but entertainment/ornamentation! 

The VOID! 

The nothingness/numbness/emptiness/futility. Also called death/GOD/spirit/eternity. 

This is what is revealed in events like Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac, the cross of Christ, etc. 

The tomb & the womb are examples of the inbreaking of this supernatural (horror/absurdity) into our ordinary experience. The VOID is the primeval black that is the source of the world & also its ultimate destiny. 

Gravid nihilism! 😇

The sublime/divine is the place where the the inward & the cosmic are in mystical union! 

Heaven ~ Hell. Hell ~ Heaven. 

Vipassana is being marketed as the best technique or way to true peace/happiness (just like the Christian gospel). I think Goenka is dead wrong (just like most Christian teachers), but then, who am I to judge A Buddhist…!? 
– New resolutions (to reinstate the ultimate reality of the VOID to its rightful place in my normal consciousness):

1. Daily 2 x 20 minutes mindful meditation + 15 min. lying awake in evening, followed by journaling. 

2. Memento mori – take large print of the image in my Framework. Get X-ray skull of Chellam & me. Goes well along with the Crucifix I already have. 

3. Make corner/tent @ home for meditation. 

4. Tuesdays – noble silence

5. Curb techno hyper-stimulation by restricting mobile use to times when not engaged in any other task. 
– “I am the door. If anyone enters through me, he will be saved, and will come in and go out, and find pasture.” 

John 10:9 NET


He/she who has entered into the spiritual level can move freely between the material, social & individual spheres, and never be hassled by the transitions! 
– “I feel numb” 


Fade to grey 


Fade to black
– Is it impossible to live contemplatively in this context? 
– “May all beings be (liberated from the need to be) happy”! 
– Virya & Sathi

Shila, Samadhi & Panya 

Buddha, Dhamma & Samgha 

Anichya, Dukha, Anatha & Shunyatha
– She’s living with her ex-husband! 
– Survival is death is survival is…… 
– Social anarchy
– “Never rebuke while you’re still indignant about a fault committed — wait until the next day, or even longer. Then calmly, and with a purer intention, make your reprimand. You’ll gain more by a friendly word than by a three-hour quarrel.”

— Josemaria Escriva

Be quick to listen, slow to anger & slow to speak. 

The way to become like this is by solitary meditation, by corporate silence & reflective listening. 

Vipassana – always be aware of what is going on in your own body, by being rooted in the breath. 
– There are 2 kinds of people:

The conscious


The unconscious

There is no death for the former! 

Of course there are degrees of consciousness & unconsciousness. 

But those who don’t even know or care about this distinction are the spiritually dead. 


The immortal


The undead



– Prudish idiot-fuckers (the repressed masses)


Sexual model-angels (the liberated few)

Watchman Nee – the spiritually dead person feels that the normal Christian is having a fever.

I think this analogy can be used for sexuality too!

How could it be that people who are so intellectually sophisticated are also sexually retarded?!

Why is that so surprising to you??

No wonder……….


– Inspiration >> motivation >> commitment >> discipline >> perseverance >> progress!

– Enjoyment > entertainment

– O the pleasures of mindful defaecation! 👶

It’s comparable to sexual ecstasy……

Those who are too decent & cultured are not welcome to this blog, fuck off & run back to your comfy cribs, kiddies 😈

– Somaesthetics




– “Auld lang syne”


– Way of the Cross – focusing on Mary’s experience (along with the disciples) is a very unique Roman Catholic approach, and really essential/powerful!

Refusing to carry your own cross –> imposing unnecessary burdens on others!

–  Louie C. K. – “Whip it out!” 😨

– Twinkle, twinkle……

Aeroplane, Venus & stars

– Distinguish:




– Many spiritual masters fail when it comes to sexuality, and I don’t mean this moralistically!

– Family day of silence!

Contemplative home


– Let my blog be your content curation/discovery source! 👍

– Hit the ground running, everyday 🏃

How to? Let me show you!

– Your greatest nemesis is your true saviour!

– Vipaasanaa – at the deepest/highest level of consciousness, the distinction between what you’re doing (observing) & what you’re experiencing (Breath), breaks down!

And so does the division between mind & matter, will & world, inner & outer, self & GOD, present & eternity, here & there, me & you, etc. etc……….

– Friendship-based sex & sex-based friendships

Moral relationships & relational morality

– “Inclusion of youngsters will keep the seniors on their toes”


– “I am Legend” climax

“I can heal you (all)!”

But they don’t want to be healed, they want to eat him. So, he readies himself to become their food, & since his blood (divine life as omnipotent love) itself is the cure……….! 💥💥💥

– These traffic police have no clue about manning a crossroad junction. How come?!

– “I’ve been messin’ around!”

What about all you tidy souls?


– balmy





prejudicious publicity

Body ornamentation & modification




– I don’t understand how my purchase of consumer durables can be financed by a loan with 0% EMI!

The cost must have been included in the product price itself…

– You might stop earning when you retire, but you quit working only when you die!

You might stop earning when you retire, but you quit working only when you die!

You might stop earning when you retire, but you quit working only when you die!

You might stop earning when you retire, but you quit working only when you die!

You might stop earning when you retire, but you quit working only when you die!

Vocation > work > career > job

Value > productivity > earning

– YouTuber

Day job, night mission

Slower, deeper, richer

– Malcolm X


Martin Luther King Jr.

Non Violent Communication


George Bataille

Conformist Vs. Romantic Vs. Revolutionary

– Birthdays are a good time to review one’s new year resolutions & long-term plans.

– I’m gonna fuck these prudes until one of us gets killed!

Laugh them all away to Hell……….

Corporate petting sessions

– Evolved systems


Imposed structures


– Requiem Mass – listen to it, & your eyes will be opened to eternity!

All the bullshit around you – all this talk (& worry) about reputation, morality, money, status, trivial domestic gossip, etc. are nothing in the light of REQUIEM.

But whatever this culture despises, like the body, sexuality, creativity, curiosity, etc. are eternal!

– What’s the difference between lime & lemon?

– The selfishness in self-denial!


– Can world history be seen as a long series of sibling rivalries?

– Dream:

I enjoy smoking a cigarette

– Nowhere to belong – the price of individuality, in a flat world!

– Soul



A better representation of the essentially conflicted human condition, than the ‘flesh vs. spirit’ metaphor.

Naturalistic/eternal culture


Artificial/ephemeral religions

– Christ – GOD, as the forever-crucified Man!

– The wilderness/jungle within

– “I can (afford to) lose my mind, if you (promise you) won’t lose yours”


– White noise

Pink noise


– Am I guilty of being ashamed??

Uniqueness implies impudence!

– Why don’t I go back to Prima’s Bakery and give positive feedback (appreciate them) about the awesome mango birthday cake?

If it was terrible, wouldn’t I have complained promptly??

– I must never exercise in the afternoon (12 – 5 pm)! Doing certain activities at certain times makes me feel depressed.

Follow the diagram from Unstuck to match tasks to their appropriate diurnal period (for me)

– The self/ego is created at the frictional/dynamic interface of culture/superego and biology/id.

The individual/person is the one who realizes this, refuses to be a passive subject of these forces, and instead, takes up his/her calling of actively creating oneself by exercising their free will!

– Justified & glorified, therefore also being sanctified!

– The temporality of the eternal –> the eternality of the temporal!

– Chrismation

Conscientious objectors

Implementation methodologies

Capacity building

Technology transfer

– No prayer & fasting,

No holiness and love

– The Apostles experienced the transfiguration first, and then the crucifixion.

But all other disciples (including us), experience the crucifixion first and then the transfiguration.

Transfiguration – the resurrection BEFORE crucifixion!

Resurrection – the transfiguration AFTER crucifixion!

– Ararat, Hebron, Moriah, Sinai, Zion, Tabor, Calvary

– Gen. 7:22 – “Everything that had the breath of life in its nostrils…”



– Wounds, failures & weaknesses

Gratitude, pondering & aspiring

– Watching sports without commentary is like watching a movie on mute!


– Movies:
“Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them” (2017)
Hmmm… A mediocre film. I don’t know why it was rated so highly @ Metacritic!
I watched it mainly to check out the 3D TV in Chris’s house.
Magic ~ technology/mystical knowledge
The divisions & conflicts within the expert community
Condescending is no better than hostile!
The troubled relationship between the conscious mind/mainstream culture & the unconscious mind/alt subcultures…
Archetypes (spiritual) Vs. Powers (political)


– TV series – “Billions” pilot episode

– Clinging to truth, without resisting evil!

– Calvary – GOD, not only in the innocent victim, but also in the guilty & condemned!

Women of Jerusalem – recognizing our own misery is essential to empathizing with others around us.



– Pancha silaa



Bhavathu sabba maangalam



EPQ – Elevate Proficiency Quotient

– My therapeutic approach:

1. Question the system that defines standards and labels persons (scientism)

2. Become aware of the contextual (cultural/social/historical) factors that affect the individual psyche.

3. Take a holistic/spiritual/multi-

pronged approach to management – diagnosis, treatment & follow-up.

Personal growth > problem-solving

4. Medication as only an initial crutch. Always to be used sparingly and accurately.

5. Bring clarity and order into the thinking, lifestyle and planning – vocational guidance, rule of life, life plan, etc.

6. Discuss philosophical/theological issues

Carefully discern the moral/ethical dimension


– Still life

Psychomagic (Referred by Rowan Moses)


– Expansion of consciousness ~ personal transformation

Theoretical propositions & empirical studies

Dynamic systems (like small groups)

Episodes of individuation

Archetypal themes

Matrix model of inquiry into inter-related phenomena

Group processes

Case studies & literature review

Evolving research methodologies

Learning situations


– Movies:

Logan (2017)

Hmmm… Good, but could’ve been awesome.

Is this a Marvel movie?! Twas more like DC.

Cross ~ X

Reminded me a little about Abel Raj……

In every small group you need the renegade member, like the Wolverine!

– NEVER throw away your wicket.

Life is TEST cricket, not an ODI/T20 match!


Living warriors are better than dead heroes……

– Sublimation of the libido is possible only for a limited period (E.g. High Existence Challenges), NOT as a permanent option (E.g. Roman Catholic priesthood)

– ostensible

Peddling the line



– I must learn (how) to not get triggered when she gets triggered…

I can see her as my psychological or spiritual child/daughter/protégé


– Logan – Is Eden real?

Legion – what if you’re not insane?

– “May the souls of the faithful departed,

Through the mercy of GOD,

Rest in peace. Amen.”

– Embracing suffering willingly, out of love, and with hope –> peace & joy!

– Unnecessary suffering – eliminate/transcend

Necessary suffering – redeem/transform

– The Passion of the Christ – whose suffering is greater – Jesus’ or Mary’s?


– Adult-games (A/R rating!) that bring out their childish/innocent/playful/spontaneous/ curious/fearless/wild/pristine side……!

– Semi-recumbent

I want!

– Socrates has only female mentor(s)!

– ‘‘Bad erotics’’ are associated with ‘‘bad’’ speech practice, rhetoric, and ‘‘good’’ erotics with ‘‘good’’ speech forms, dialectic.

– The early Vs. The late dialogues

Aspasia Vs. Diotima

Pericles Vs. Socrates

Pausanias Vs. Plato

A parody of high style

Erotics beyond pleasure, procreation & politics


The real


The actual

The virgin as the half-female

Remarkable absence – “the woman who wasn’t there”


Philosopher Vs. Politician


Pederasty & pedagogy

Doubled figures

Agora Vs. Academy

Athenian/vulgar Vs. Uranian/ideal

“This consistent and persistent doubling has much more crucial consequences for the history of sexuality than any details of permitting or forbidding of this or that sexual practice.”




“When each of you has made his offering to the god, then you can have your discussion’’

Reciprocal desire, mutual pleasuring & egalitarian relating


Remodeling the classical homoerotic ethos

Unmanly desires

Halperin’s Plato

Idealized reading


– Distinguish:




– Fighting as relational catharsis!





– “What do you do when you don’t know what to do?”

The match between your belief system and the behavior of the people around you is what gives you (a sense of) security

The ought cannot be derived from the is.

Your moral system/hierarchy of values determines your perception and behavior

Paralyzed by chaos

Natural rights

Pragmatic truth > empirical fact

Functional ~ evolutionary

Theories as tools

Surreal ~ hyper-real


Nature/biology Vs. Culture/society

Character-shaping and world-retooling

Magic code


Camille Paglia


– imbroglio

– Movies:

“City of God” (2002)

Hood film – different from the usual crime movie

Title sounds like City of Joy (Calcutta), but what is missing is the Mother figure (Teresa)!

Where is the church gone here??

Spiritual formation & social engineering

This is a no-nonsense, brutally realistic, film – no masala to make it tasty or digestible, it’s relentless, no tenderness to relieve the violence & tragedy (because it’s a true story) …… and there’s no happy ending either.

– Evernote: Export note as pdf – use print note to pdf function (on PC)! 🙂

– “My book, O philosopher, is the nature of created things, and any time I want to read the words of God, the book is before me.”

— Antony the Great

Wisdom > academics

Learning > study

Word > words

But of course, without academics, study & words, where would we be??

“More than” is NOT the same as “other than”


– Positivity – gratitude (life), encouragement (self) & appreciation (others)

– axiomatic



Crisis of inaction

Power-systems and role-playing

Contextual transformations


“Fade to black”


– “You know the meaning of life, but you don’t understand (how you know) it!”

The meaning of life is more than you (can/do) understand. And you (already) know that!

– Distinguish:




– Distinguish:

Conservative (moral)


Frigid (sexual)





– aspic



– Spiritual disciplines – daily routine.
Chores – weekly schedule- Use flow/swipe on keyboard, to switch to single finger typing, so that the grip on a large screen mobile (mine is 5.5″) is easier.
This has benefits when it comes to avoiding finger /wrist stress.

– Why does the SwiftKey keyboard not work perfectly in all apps?
E.g. Evernote

– The Work

– Just like divine sovereignty is the framework within which natural chaos & human freedom flourish, so does personal growth/creativity can prosper only when there is rigorous planning & meticulous execution!

– Daily air-conditioning:
Sleep ~ 8 hours
AC – 8/1.5 ~ 5 – 5.5 hours

– Movies: “I am Legend”
“What are you doing?”
– “I’m listening”
The atheist becomes the greatest witness!

Marley – injecting pearls into swine, before they kill you for trying……


– Distinguish:



– Sleep:

1:00 am – 7 am – strict nights

3:00 am – 7 am – freaky nights (Saturday & Wednesday)

No chores/ministry on freaky days

Snack – Rs. 200 every Thursday
No exercise only on Tuesdays (Monk) & Sundays (Sabbath)
My new routine – 2 steps forward, 1 step sideways! 😉
– Desires/beliefs >> values >> priorities >> principles >> rules >> lifestyle choices >> habits >> character >> consequences >> experience >> wisdom!
– Double whammy

YouTube Kids

IDM (music genre)
– Movies:

“13 Assassins”

“The Green Room”

“Is the man who is tall happy?”
TV series:

“True Detective” Season 1

– sepia

savage & picturesque
– Whatever happened to that 13 year old kid in the ITTF event?!
– Table Tennis – Distinguish:




Topspin (forehand)/flick (backhand)



– kudos


– “Prestige/status is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you’d like to like.”

– Paul Graham

Define your own “success”!

You first gotta have the spine to BE yourself, before you can find the way to become who you OUGHT to be…

– Is my dad an” orphan”?
– According to ATP statistics, if one player takes the first 2 sets, and the other one takes the next 2, who has more chances of winning the last one?
– Are there any self-evident truths at all?
– A child who knows she is a child –> a child who thinks she is an adult –> an adult who knows she is an adult –> an adult who thinks she is a child!

I have met only one, two or maybe three “adult” females in my entire life!

– The neighborhood sociopath – be very careful in distinguishing the spiritual, moral, cultural & psychological issues (in that order!).

And first affirm their full humanity (therefore their value & dignity) before even attempting to “understand” or “help” them.
– Financial budget & stomach capacity as natural boundaries to calorific intake during indulgence!
– A keyboard with undo & redo…!?

What if we could convert all hardware problems into software challenges?!
– How can the spiritual/cultural BIOS of the individual/society be hacked (accessed, analyzed & repaired)?

Who can/should do this – GOD, me, guru…?

– At least once a week, wake up early & catch the sun rising.
– It takes at least 24 hours for me to come back to normal (with you) after (our) conflicts
– Liquid diet – Soya milk, spiced low fat lassie, infused herbal tea, sugarless mixed fruit juice, skimmed milk

Powders – Fenugreek, cardamom, cumin, coriander

Basil green tea
– Wellness mania

Emotion as sensation

Breathing space between stimulus & response

Courageous ~ creative

Confident ~ calm

Ignorant ~ slavish

Selfish ~ unhappy

Purity ~ clarity



Metta bhavana

Apps – Coach.me, Mindly, Unstuck, etc. 

1. Sunday – feasting!

2. Monday – grilled chicken breast/fish/prawn + fruits/vegetables + nut/dry fruit mix

3. Tuesday – Liquids (fresh fruit juice, soya milk, herbal tea, spiced low-fat lassi)

4. Wednesday – brown channa/rajma + fruits/vegetables + nuts/dry fruit mix

5. Thursday – normal food + snacking

6. Friday – grilled fish/prawn/chicken breast + fruits/vegetables + cereal with skimmed milk

7. Saturday – ragi/millet/sprouts + fruits/vegetables + nuts/dry fruit mix

– New brief bio:

I am a 37 year old male, living in Chennai (India).

Currently in an intimate & committed relationship with a 27 year old girl. 

Christian/medical background.


Introvert. Open-minded & adventurous. Intellectual. Maverick. Eccentric. Contemplative. Autodidact.

Passionate about spirituality, philosophy, culture, sexuality, etc.

Love candid & serious conversation.

Looking for unique, interesting people, to make new friends. 


– The personal growth industry
– Workspace ergonomics

– edging


– démarche


Emile Zola (sexy name 😉) 
– Movies:

“A Brief Encounter” (1945)

Definitely deserves its place among the all-time great (especially romance) films! 

Imagine yourself in the place of the innocent partners, and the protagonist spouses. 
– Chew, DON’T gobble!

Sip, DON’T gulp!
– Unwind or die! 
– Start using timer for 5 min. break every 30 min. spent on e-stuff
– Distinguish:



– Mindful meditation

Mindful breathing

Mindful sitting

Mindful eating

Mindful excretion

Mindful bathing

Mindful cleaning

Mindful walking

Mindful talking

Mindful fucking

Mindful sleeping

Mindful waking

Mindful working

Mindful resting

Mindful living

Mindful dying
– 2 off days per week – 1 for relaxation (Thursday) & 1 for entertainment (Sunday) 

2 movies per week – 1 critical/heavy & 1 light/fun

Indulgence:regular ~ 1:5

Extreme:moderate ~ 1:2.5
– Health math – BMI, WHR & BMR calculation
– Vitality > fulfillment

Expression >> happiness 
– Dream:

I lie down & try to discern the essence of Christianity. 

Is it high ideals? Is it loving people? Is it Jesus Christ? 

I am not satisfied by any of these answers… 
– Free online self help/personal growth/self development/life skills/mentoring/coaching/training courses

Time for Immanuel Joseph v. 3.0! 😇
– 3 levels of Rule of Life:

1. Founation/essence – underlying rhythm

2. Regular/routine – repeating activities 

3. Particular/scheduled – important tasks
– Meta-counseling
– “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” 

– Robert Frost

If you don’t respect yourself, then don’t expect others to respect you! 

All are equal in worth, but not everyone is equal in accomplishment. 
– Alternate days

3 days a week – chores

3 days a week – contemplative 

(Morning & night rhythm – 6 days a week)
– Distinguish:



– Web apps

– Shit happens. 

Fuck yeah! 
– Webby



Content discovery & curation
– TV series:

Legion – Chapter 1

There is no Marxism, only Marxists. 

There are no capitalists, only capitalism. 

GOD – Christ, Gospel & Church – Holy Trinity! 

“What if you’re NOT insane?!”

What if they all were wrong?! 
– Movies:

“The Prestige” (2006)

Hmmm… 4/5

Nice title, with double meaning! 

So, who won in the end?? I don’t think anyone did. 

Compare with the movie “Amadeus” 

The Bhagavad Gita teaches that you can/must kill your enemy, because of the fact of (his/her) eventual reincarnation… 





Peter Rollins’ book “The Divine Magician” – the pledge, the turn & the prestige 
– Use your mind to heal the body! 
– Distinguish:

Machine (technology), 

Beast (body) & 

Mind (spirit). 

Machine (exists) for (the sake of) beast, 

Beast (exists) for (the sake of) mind. 


Mind (can be used) for (taking care of) beast & 

Machine (can be used) for (serving the) mind. 

Mind makes machine, yes. But never does the mind & beast exist for the machine! 

Beware the demonic reversals…… 💀
– Yes, there is no self – Buddhism (metaphysical/subconscious mind) 

Yes, the self is one with GOD – Hinduism (mystical/collective consciousness) 

Yes, the self is a unique individual – Christianity (existential/will) 

Yes, the self is the functioning cerebral cortex – secular humanism (empirical/biological organism)