– Ideologue’s guide to perversion

Reverse brain-washing

– I am more contemplative/introverted than most people. But how come I bailed out of the Vipassana course on the 4th day, and the others were able to continue and finish it??


– Is it possible to live (i.e not destroy oneself), once you have fully embraced the truth/fact, that there is no meaning/purpose of life (except life itself)?

– If the negation of life is not death, then what is it?





– Nitzschean charity

Divert all funds, from supporting the survival/uplift of the “weak/struggling”, to preserve those (individuals & groups) who are living/fighting “at the edge of time”……!

The death of certain folks/movements is more precious than others…?


World Vision >> Wikileaks 

Save the Children >> LibGen

William >> Abel

Pownya >> Shanthuru



– Meditation – breather >> breathing >> breath!

– God >> GOD >> G-d >> gOd!

– Used Audacity for noise reduction of my positive affirmation recordings… 👍

– Distinguish:

The barking dog


This dog barking


– It seems that UGK has somehow defaulted to the Edenic state.

But (according to Christian theology), the way back is barred, and we can only move forward (toward the New Jerusalem) now.

Add Nietzsche’s idea of the “eternal return of the future in the event”, and you get an awesome solution that takes the journey beyond the deadlock……



– Your thoughts & feelings don’t matter.

Even your beliefs & desires don’t matter.

Only your will & actions matter.

Frustration/despair/sorrow is the result of not realizing the above truths.

But happiness/peace/positivity is NOT the result of realizing them!

– Yes, depression is only for sissies.

But there is a sissy in everybody, right?

– It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you are… You are ALONE!

Only very few people have realized this fact, & even fewer have embraced it fully.

First you see the truth, then it kills you, because it destroys the foundational illusions that sustain your current existence……

And after this, if you’re still breathing, it liberates you, totally!

– If there is a lone wolf among a thousand sheep, who is under threat??


– From




– Mind as culture within.
Most of your thoughts & feelings are just experienced (passively) by you. They are NOT yours!
Only what you do (by actively moving against your own beliefs & desires) is upto you (freedom of choice). The will is your ONLY way out!


– I wish I was cool.
Or I wish I was not bothered about whether I was cool.
Now I wish that I didn’t wish…… 😇

– I had another dream of being “reconciled” with Rowan & Vanya.

Does this “mean” anything??

– I must look into the philosophy, theology & spirituality of sleep, insanity & the unknown……

How about mind, language & biology?

– Thinking about thinking 

Praying for my prayers

Believing in belief

Living out (of) life

– Romanticism >> scepticism >> mysticism


Oblivious ~ cowardly 

Feminist (critical member)


Feminism (her movement)


– Thinking out loud:
Based on our experience of the world today, what great/lasting impact did the so-called great ones make??
Maybe we will have to see the world as it might have been if these special persons had not lived……
Then the difference might show itself more obviously!?


– Meditation


So, both the way back (to Eden) and the way forward (to the New Jerusalem) are blocked to us.
The Garden is closed by the flaming swords. And the City is closed because the human mind is not capable of overcoming itself.
If there is any possibility of divine revelation (& therefore our salvation), our last resort is to probe the wounds for the flow (of blood & water)……….


– “Nannagae Kannada gotthilla”

– Free man from humanity!
Fuck moralism, spiritualism & capitalism


– All successes are also failures.
And all failures are also successes.

– Instinctual discipline
Wild wisdom
The plural/fragmented/conflicted self – the broken body – Eucharist!

– To live, without meaning, is strength.


– I am tempted to try & regain my lost faith.
I am tempted to return to the old disciplinarian regime.
I am tempted to adopt more conventional roles to survive in this culture.

– Teleology/eschatology/theology

– Noise cancellation headphones

– Hygiene

– Life is not these things.
Life is more than these things.
Life is less than these things.
Life is other than these things.

– Why should you agree to cease?


– Indulgence is a sign of depression.

– Should I alternate periods of mind over body with periods of body over mind, or just equalize/moderate both at all times?
How do I distinguish whether a desire/motivation is arising from the body or the mind??
The bloody romance of flesh & spirit – c’mon, be sportive now!

– Morning ritual – sitting in the dark, looking out through the open window into the daylit outdoors……

– Feeling one’s thoughts,
And thinking one’s feelings.
Is there any way out of this??


– Write an original line everyday.
Stop any & all “reblogging”

– Can doing nothing be a hobby?
What will happen if I continue living like this?
Why not?
Moving from passive activity to active passivity.

– Fascinated by life, but not passionate about living!

– vertiginous

– So Joe, finished your Tinder swiping for today?

– Following moods >> nowhere/anywhere/everywhere
Ready, steady, stop!

– Existence > experience

– The way to cure depression & the way to live fully are diametrical opposites!

– Doing >> being >> be(com)-ing


– UGK – and the Flesh became word, & dwelt among us……!
The grizzly man (Timothy Treadwell)
This dog barking (UGK)
Diogenes the Cynic

– Depression – the realization that I am NOT the centre of existence is both excruciating & exhilarating!
Existence > life

– All true revolutions are bound to fail.

– litotes


Author: jimmanueljoseph

This is a collection of my journal entries, & anything that catches my attention... So, no full articles, just "glimpses" - sparks to light your FIRE! DISCLAIMER: Not everything I post is mine (including opinions & experiences) _____________________________________________________________________________ Immanuel Joseph (Male; Born - 11.08.1979, Madurai) What am I doing?? Actually, nothing much! But I am a self-employed, part-time, freelance spiritual worker. What that means exactly, I myself don't know...... I don't have a job. But I have a hobbies...... Lay, maverick, eccentric Christian thinker & spiritual friend (MBTI - Insightful Facilitator) - passionately seeking to better experience, understand & enjoy life! Reclusive & contemplative autodidact. Controversial conversationalist Living with Salome Divya _____________________________________________________________________________ My LinkedIn Profile: My Ministry: My Testimony: Twitter Email/Google Plus Facebook YouTube Cell Phone/WhatsApp +919840227977 My Framework for Spiritual Formation Groups Resources for Spiritual Formation Group

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