PENSEES

19.8.20

– Instead of shoveling out lot of stuff from all the layers of your expedition, why don’t you wait to get to the one pearl from the greatest depth…?
The pearl, from my last deep-dive:
S – L – O – W  I T  D – O – W – N !
This merges the mundane and the ethereal

– Kind & tactful truth-telling

20.8.20

– averments
Prashant Bhushan
Bona-fide beliefs
contemnor

21.8.20

– The false body
Soma Vs. Sarx
Richard Schustermann

24.8.20

– “Republicans against Trump”

25.8.20

– “I may destroy you”

27.8.20

– “Enemies with benefits”

30.8.20

*
Disapprobation
*
Impetuous

 

– Understanding myself from within and with you >>
You understanding yourself from within and with me >>
Me understanding you & you understanding me >>
You & me understanding our relationship (what’s going on between you & me)!

– ReasonIO & Gregory Sadler

31.8.20

– தத்துவப் பாடல்கள்

2.9.20

– Not The Onion

3.9.20

– Object lessons & acted parables

– “Throwing myself… (bury my eyes) into this life”
The point of diminishing returns
Reflection Vs. Living

5.9.20

– moratorium

10.9.20

– Passion, faith & discipline

– Give yourself (some) time, to be depressed!

*
Balancing >> harmonizing >> integration
*
scholium

 

11.9.20

– Mishima Christi – the Cross as sepukku

– UGK, the blind and dumb Bataillean prototype

– Life is the engine of death

12.9.20

– Trust is the fundamental one out of the 3 elements of love!
To love is to trust that you respect, and care for, me.

– Movies:
Our Children – 2012 (Belgium)
Bombshell (2019)

– What is choice, without boundaries?!

RANTINGS

21.7.20
– subitize
23.7.20
– “The queer art of failure”
– Enjoying the failure to enjoy life
– The only living truth, is that, love is stronger than death!
– And how do you feel when she does that?
– Maintain the same posture, and…… BREATHE!
28.7.20
– Guilty pleasures
&
Artistic edification
29.7.20
– cad
wheedle
nob
vis
– The greatest purpose of life is timepass!
– L-O-V-E – Listen to the one voice emerging – organism consciousness/frequency!
Your reflective listening helping me to better understand what/why/how I am saying – saying what I mean and meaning what I say.
Listening >> understanding >> agreement >> acting together
A + B + C = getting the clear picture of the whole – evolving co-intelligence
Charge/polarity: +/-
Minus – taking/asking; Plus – giving/offering
“It is more blessed to give (+) than to receive (-)”! 
Distinguish pause in the thread (horizontal) & asking for silence (vertical)
q-A is for anyone in the us, not only the me
q6 comes before q7/q-C – “Be quick to listen & slow to speak”
The array diagram is in 3D, that’s why it looks asymmetrical in 2D!
Experiencing the 4D reality is more important.
– Far-UVC light
EIA 2020
– My motto:
Be true, enjoy life & make a difference!
30.7.20
– Touch the (base of the) TIP
– desultory
dulcimer
aplomb
– If I told you, “You could have the greatest pleasurable experience ever possible, but then you would forget it ever happened”, would you still say YES?!
– It’s enough for me to know that IT exists! 😎
– Using words, to show that words don’t even come close, including this!
– Replace present with pussy, then see what happens. Just don’t blog it!
– You guys…… Seriously??
What kinda party is this?!
The best kinda party, of course!!
– This is how your reality becomes your fantasy! 🙂
– this woke up life
Typed by audio ☝🏾
👇🏾
Woke Up This Life
– I’m AWESOME!
I intended to close my eyes at 18:55 of the video and open at 20:00.
And I did!
After that, I watched in perfect stillness for one more minute. Just the minute before writing this! 😉
– Watched an entire video in slo-mo!
Couldn’t distinguish between fast & slo………………
– Start what you completed.
– Recording of a screenshot
And the
Screenshot
Of
A
R
_ecording
– Real-world porn-stars
– Do you know what it is like, to be exhausted of pleasure?
I DO.
– Spread the energy from this throbbing/pulsating spot, to every nook & cranny of the your universal life!
– Stay
(still)
…… till the rest of the video
– No matter what you do, it makes no difference,
NOW
go out and change the world! 👊🏾
FUCK YEAH 🤟🏾
– AWE-rimming
Oh GOD Og goG
You’re so fun.
– ………. and the molten golden lava (GML) river, flowed into my right ear, went across my brain, and came out through my left……….
– Time is an illusion.
No.
Time is THE illusion.
– The happy life
OR
A glorious existence
CHOOSE! ☝🏾
– If doing the same thing over & over again feels amazing, would you still want difference?
No, I would want BOTH! ✌🏽
Yes, I can make it happen.
I can.
Yes, I can.
TRUST
– Death is to life what everyday living is to THIS.
How could I still be making sense?
This shouldn’t be possible!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
– Soliloquy – even the/my descent is too high (for you)
– These stoned journal entries of mine is Faust for my generation.
HAIL SATAN! 😈
– The high lasts long enough for you to experience it as eternal life or the kingdom of heaven.
And it is real enough to make you feel absolutely fantastic, and it is fantastic enough to make you believe its real.
– From stardust to ashes
And back
Archives of the deleted
– Is it better to (not) know that we are living in the best of all possible worlds?
– What is the difference between the moaning of the one being fingered, and the one fingering?
Can’t you tell yet!
– Unlimited energy, available
– to move from the pursuit of happyness to living gloriously!
– Contrast:
Life is failure
&
Failure as life
– Subtitle reader
– “Love me like a ritual,
I will be your medicine man.” – Winger
“Real Love,
Where are you?
I need you!
Love, love, love
Real Love…
I love you.” – Slaughter
1.8.20
– Spiritual disciplines – not magical “means of transformation”, but just ways to keep the desire for personal growth alive! That’s why they work. They keep us open to GRACE!
Actively engaging in cultivating the passive capacity of reception……
NEGATIVE work
– Who am I? What am I?
Have you realized this yet??
If not, how do you know how best to deal with your circumstances and relate to others in your life?!
E.g. Are you an alpha or a beta (male)? Are you a driven or contented person? Are you a dominant or submissive (female)?
There is no shame in accepting who you are and building on it, the only shame is trying to be(come) someone else all your life……
Have you seen the sidekick character in films? Of course, he/she is the hero of their own life yes ☝🏾, but they find their true selves only in playing the supporting role to another. ✌🏽
Or maybe I am just a narcissist, relentlessly (& remorselessly) objectifying everyone around me…? 🙃
But what if I’m not! 👊🏾
What if these are not just grandiose delusions, but just the plain truth?
– Compare album covers:
MJ’s Dangerous
&
Bob Dylan’s All Along the Watchtower
– Simply Red – If I don’t know me by now,
I will never never never know me…! 🙃
My job is to show you who you are, for, apart from the mirror, nobody can see their own face.
But then, how do I know myself? By showing others who they really are, I realize who I am, in the process!
– MJ
Give in to me (Me to you)
&
Dirty Diana (You to me)
The guru-sishya romance
The mutual realization of the ego & the unconscious through the ritualized dance of BDSM!
“Like a ritual” – Winger
I need (to give to) you and you need (to receive from) me
– Why don’t I like the language of rights, and activists of these various social justice movements??
– கர்த்தாவே, நீர் வெளிப்படுத்தினதை நான் கேட்டேன், எனக்குப் பயமுண்டாயிற்று; கர்த்தாவே, வருஷங்களின் நடுவிலே உம்முடைய கிரியையை உயிர்ப்பியும், வருஷங்களின் நடுவிலே அதை விளங்கப்பண்ணும், கோபித்தாலும் இரக்கத்தை நினைத்தருளும்.
ஆபகூக் 3:2
O LORD, I have heard thy speech, and was afraid: O LORD, revive thy work in the midst of the years, in the midst of the years make known; in wrath remember mercy.
Hab. 3:2
– Psychedelic + porn + masturbation + meditation + solitude + abstinence + romance = sexual fulfillment!
At least 3 (preferably all) of these elements in dynamic interactive equal combination, on an intense, balanced, long-term rhythm!
– Heirloom – Christian fucking metal!
3.8.20
– Present – the gift of the moment!
– “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” – Janis Joplin
– Shell company
Rare earths
Full-cycle economics
Reputational risks
Skeptical environmentalist
Group-think & Confirmation bias
5.8.20
– Vomiting the rainbow
&
Drinking through my ears
– I should conduct an OSM when stoned! 😈
Amen.
YES, lord!
– re-member this feeling!
– Next time, try to fail accidentally!
Okay?
This is my only prayer.
GOD is kneeling down in Heaven and praying for these fucking prayer-warriors to get up and DO something…… 🙄
– “Leave you(r) f(e)ar behind!”
– Let me be your ASMR, dears! 😘
– “I can never die”
I CAN live forever
I can NEVER come to terms with my own death
BOTH/AND?
– Apply the hash oil at that spot and then feel a local orgasm building up!
4 hour orgy – can you beat this?!
10.8.20
– Spiritual chicanery
obstreperous
alienist
osteopathy
– 17:28 left
– Today, I have fulfilled the purpose of my life – I have proven (for, to & in myself) that the Gospel IS INDEED true! 😁
– Image – me Perry Mason PM & GOD Sister Alice
I have seen the secret of life, therefore, Rejoice!
My friends……
12.8.20
– The day after my 42nd birthday – the first day of my resurrection!
– “Don’t you EVER cry TONIGHT!”
– Enlightenment scene from “Never Look Away”
– I AM (identifying with) the Rejected messiah!
– Mistrial
– syndicate (v.)
influencers
13.8.20
– No refractory period after orgasm…? WOW!
– Bodhisattva ~ Pentecost ~ me bringing out the treasures from my own enlightenings
– Chellam’s birthday greeting card cover art – “The Last Station” film – death/departure scene
14.8.20
– Connect:
The amputation scene in “I Know This Much is True”
&
The suicide of Mark Fisher
My own melancholia……
Maybe a little bit of Jordan Peterson’s existential/individualistic truth therapy may have “saved” Mark’s life……?
– JFF ~ just for fun ~ joyous friends forever
– shamrock
– metaphysical tan-lines
– OSM – as you all breathe according to my guidance, I resuscitate your dead spirits through my breath(y voice)! 👁️
– Perry Mason – last episode of first season is Holy Saturday is our lives is love is GOD.
– Am I going crazy, my dear?
I may destroy you.
– From nearly there… to
NOW-ly here!
– Long-forgotten threads, left abruptly hanging,
Waiting,
Longing,
Preparing,
To be picked up again!
– It lets me be who I wanna be,
When I think more than I ought to think.
– Crystalline Black 🖤
– “What’s beyond Murder?”
– wog
15.8.20
– My life – can you see the method in the madness?
OSM – can you see the madness in the method?
– Saviour without salvation (rejected messiah)
Vs.
Salvation without saviour (atheist faith)
16.8.20
– haymaker
Cards against humanity
Great glibness & unctuous egoism
Sponging preachers & hypocritical jargon
Moral mendacity & tribal self-interest
meliorism
Declamatory flights
Exegetical elasticity
cognizable
effete
tweed
charnel
nostrum
– What/who are you, outside your own constituency?

– How does her pussy feel, when she’s eating another girl’s?
I wanna feel that!
17.8.20
– Hastening (the End) by anticipating (the New)
– “Omae wa mou shindeiru” – “You’re already dead” (Naruto)
– Now you’ve got something to die for (Lamb of God) + Revolutionary army (Penny Dreadful)

VIGNETTES

– maieutic
Tiqqun
– I’m NOT a robot!
10.6.20
– Zapier, Slack, Discord
tbh, imo, btw
doxxing
Death Therapy
pawg
Keeley Olivia
– We Are One Global Film Festival:
Blood Rider
Poppety in the Fall
12.6.20
– Misattributed quotations
Alt-right
– “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up, and become in every way, the mature body of Christ, who is the head”
– anti-SJW
– Personally, I’m not an activist, but I firmly believe in the value & importance of activism in our world!
I think I can learn a lot from being in a group like this.
And I also feel I can contribute something, as an objective observer and a more contemplative person, by bringing in perspectives which may not be readily accessible to those in the frontline/trenches of the fight…
One of my longtime friends is an ardent XR member and he has always told me that being close to me has really supported him in the tough struggle, & guided his approach with certain key insights.
Let’s see… 🤞🏽👣
GOD BLESS 👍🏽
(Thank you for this opportunity)
One of the problems (in India especially) today seems to be, the inability of the activistic folks to engage with ordinary folks, who are usually more conservative in their views. There seems to be a huge gulf between the common man’s worldview and the language of the well-educated scholars & leaders on the Left. Instead of being educated & inspired, the common folks are puzzled & irritated by the typical activist rhetoric. This is a major hurdle, because it weakens the progressive movements from getting the support of the majority of people, and even getting more recruits, on their side!
And as long as the fascistic populists are more successful in getting the ears & hearts of the masses, true change at a global/systemic level will always be a utopian mirage… Isn’t it?
This is also one more reason for the utter failure of the Left in a country like India.
So, is there something fundamentally different that needs to happen in how the intellectual/activist communicates with the common people, especially in the developing world?? 🤔
There is a crying need for dialogue, negotiation & persuasion (as opposed to only aggressive activism) among progressives! Otherwise, they will end up fighting against the whole world (except their own niche groups) and ultimately be defeated.
So, if they really want to change the world for the better, and are not just trying to push another ideology, then they need to learn how to make partners out of those who are NOT their enemies!
But of course, there are people on the opposite extreme (hardcore conservatives, far-right, etc.) who cannot be won over, and should just be fought.
This discernment is crucial, and may be the difference between a different future and the past continued…… 🤔
There is also a disturbing trend among activists today – condescension & name-calling – labeling even moderate/centrist people as “fascist”, “status quoist”, “hate speech” (in the name of political correctness), etc.
Added to this a pervasive victim mentality (ironically, bossing others around!), that believes it is entitled to special treatment, makes things only worse…… 😕
Again, this is an obviously self-sabotaging behavior, because they’re making enemies out of potential allies here, by sheer thoughtless aggression!
So, I would suggest that, in order to be an effective activist (fire), just righteous anger (heat) is NOT enough, but a cool head & sharp mind (light) are also required! 🔥
Assuming that all those who disagree with you are just ignorant, is a grossly arrogant assumption!
And just because someone is aware of your ideas/concerns, doesn’t mean they should also agree with you on anything, especially on HOW to go about making the world a better place…
And yes, most common people are more ignorant about certain political issues compared to intellectuals or social activists. But that is just another reason to educate, not insult, them, right?
Such crude approaches have only resulted in more & more people flocking to the so-called “strong, patriotic, chauvinistic leaders” who are taking the entire race straight to Hell in a handbasket……
– AD: That’s an entirely one-sided statement which does not acknowledge the reasons behind XR’s pragmatic strategic decision to focus on environmental destruction rather than try to tackle the systems of oppression causing this – and by omitting this context the statement presents an implication there was something sinister in play. This statement also breaches XR’s Principles & Values on several counts (personal attacks, divisive, disrespectful…).
IJ: WOW!
I also agree that XR should prioritize the fight against the climate crisis as it’s chief goal, and every other objective should be in line with & subordinate to it! 👍🏽
No focus, no progress ☝🏽
Just what I wanted to tell here 😎
13.6.20
– The New Extractivism!
– Higher…
Still!!!
14.6.20
– We are, united… by fear!
– Trishanku
Avadhuta
Digambara
Pratyekabuddha
15.6.20
– QR code
16.6.20
– Pinning & starring on WhatsApp
17.6.20
– BIPOC
racialization
Digital welfare state
Stories on YT
EULA

19.6.20
– What does “Anah Aevia” mean?
– XR Demands – tell the truth; we can’t eat money;
22.6.20
– Heart rate 131
24.6.20
– Equality, diversity & inclusivity
– 54:45
29.6.20
– chela
Shiva, the erotic monk
palavers
coquetry
Tathagata
Electronic Clearance Service (ECS)
Indolent conceit
chalet
holidaymakers
30.6.20
– Marsha Johnson
Gender dysphoria
– Movies:
“காமராஜ்”
– Serial:
“I know this much is true”
1.7.20
– Leadership:
Engage with clarity, convince with integrity, inspire with passion.
Do NOT lead by:
Guilt, fear or force
3.7.20
– Scripture (especially the Gospels) – the hidden/spiritual meaning is pre-eminent, and the surface/literal meaning must be subordinate.
– Parabolic acts
Star billing
Common Christian presumptions about GOD
Distinguish descriptive from prescriptive statements
4.7.20
– proscenium
boilerplate
hauntology
gliberal
crypto-bigot
dissensus
5.7.20
– Adaptive strategies for the new normal
காலச்சுவடு
ஆறாம் திணை
benchmarking
6.7.20
– druthers
Thought-induced trances
internecine
8.7.20
– Mutual prayer
Selfless well-being & cosmic unity
micro-agression
Imaginary perception
Faith as vision
Intuitive understanding
Abstract concepts as fictional objects
Unintentional imagination
Active passivity & passive activity
– Subjective projection – seeing what’s not there
&
Objective blindness – not seeing what is there
9.7.20
– Relational wisdom:
1. Distinguish between negotiable & non-negotiable
2. Distinguish direct action & indirect effects
3. Balance me, we & us (in that order)
Equal dynamic interaction of all 3!
– A Bataillean reading of the Christ & his Cross
– rancune
Energy Vs. Power ~ Flow Vs. Control
negentropy
Autotelic personality
10.7.20
  • Science fiction & philosophical frisson
– Doing is the ecstatic overflow of being!
– The Universe is not unlimited, but it’s immense enough to inspire (our ideas of) infinity!
– OSM
Orgiastic Sexual Moanings is the basis & source of Online Spiritual Meetings!
– Ecstatic frustration – watching myself labour-ing
– Am I doing this or is this happening to me?
Does it really matter!
– Philosophy is nothing but psychedelic humanity+
– Hell is nothing but the throbbing stillness you feel right now, but only a thousand times stronger and lasting forever 🙂
– What am I but a h(w)ole
– GOD, men, etc. – ripples, on the surface of Beeing
– I AM
high.
YES, i am.
– This is eternal life! You know why?
The last time you hit this stop is erased from your memory. So, your memento is the inertial momentum of that eternal return……
Alleluia
The promise of abundant living is nothing but the gift of amnesia! Get it 😉
– The forgotten middle
No ecstasy without excruciating boredom!
The game of subtle bliss
What is horror to you is serenity for me hahahahaha
– Surprised by JOI
– Fantasize the moment
– Please-her ~ pleasure ~ plea-sure ~ p-leasure ~ plessure ~ pleasurer ~ ple-shur
– Faggened
– Life is the foreplay and death is orgasm
– The exhaustion of fatigue
AND
The fatigue of exhaustion
– Sextuality
Spirixuality
REAL words
– You know why I don’t believe you’ve encountered fire?
Because you have no burns, bro.
– Godot for waiting
10.7.20
– Reality Kings ~ Holy nation
XXCROSS
– Francis Levy
Glorious shit & Shitty glory
Peter Banki
13.7.20
– Perfecting imperfection
– Positive + positive = negative
– Matrix 4
– So what’s your poison, bro?
Wanna check out my world?
– Why would you (want to) take anything (away) from life?
– To die is to master life
To master life is to die
– Perfect chaos
  • Spontaneity/joy ALONE is serious business. Commitments/rules are strictly ONLY for fun! 😉 
14.7.20
– Affirmative action & inheritance tax
headwind
Path dependence
15.7.20
– Pure forms of sensibility – time & space
Dogmatism & skepticism go hand-in-hand!
The syllogistic structure of the mind
Sensation, understanding & reason
Preset templates
Hypothetical logical functions
Categories of understanding
Principles of reason
Innate concepts
From patterns to laws
Naming & connecting stuff
placeholders
monogenism
Minor disasters
womanist
Spectrum multiview books
Briareus
TASMAC in the news
16.7.20
– Religious exogamy
Female slaves
Distinguish prostitutes & courtesans
Bourgeois fascism
“Perish the thought” – UG paraphrase
– Agehananda Bharati
Ahura mazda
– 17.7.20
– Movies:
Southpaw
19.7.20
– bantamweight
mwah
20.7.20
– Am I stoned or not?
These insights don’t seem “normal”
– Solitude increases intimacy!
In order to augment one thing, throw in a healthy dose of its very opposite
– Meditation on frustration >> ?
– How does one “get high on life”?
By learning to relish its multifarious pains
WHY do you (NOT!) take pleasure in being fucked by GOD?
Can’t you see that we’re the androids in GOD’s ex machina?
Amor fati, my dears! 🤟🏾
– The illusory nature of phase-thinking
The phasedness of illusory thinking
– The enemy of love is NOT hatred.
Distinguish:
Enemy
&
Opposite
– Bad meets evil
Then what?
“You’ve always been who you are”
Logic Vs. Magic
“It’ll pay for itself in its time”
We already have a few money-makers in this group! 😉
This is what Satan & Adam have been trying all along, somehow make ourselves the innocent victims & helpless dames, so that GOD can become the culprit for us……
– But what if the training (to face reality) itself is fatal?
Isn’t that the whole point?
– Human cruelty
Vs.
Animal instinct
Vs.
Divine indifference
– I can only do this alone.
Can you help me?
Please!
For your sake
– What could be most damaging if it moved from private to public?
What could be most damaging if it moved from unconscious to conscious?
What could be most damaging if it moved from thought to action?
– Senti(mental) criticism
Vs.
Critical senti(mentality)
– The next K-punk!
– The cure for nausea is
STARVATION
– Beyond perfection (to),
in(to)completion
Un(to)automotivationability
– Sunrise ~ purnice
– How many lives did this word-salad cost?
– We just keep doing what we believe we need to, and leave the rest to goG.
– How can you rape me if I’m asking for it?
– You t(w/o)o are here