– Movies:
High Life
The final affirmative – AMEN!

– Dreams:
Swimming pool. Large snake emerges, curls around my foot, then slithers away. I freeze!

Paul Siromoni explodes in a tirade against a formal forum where academic presentations are made. Danny is awaiting his turn to present his cardiology thesis. I leave the hall and start following Paul……


– Let’s start a new project, Joe!

– SUGGESTION (for your serious consideration):
Salome Divya, Psychology teacher – vision statement:
1. Passion to become an expert/authority in a specific field (?Educational Psychology), thereby transforming myself in the process, and contributing to the progress of scientific knowledge & ethical practice, for human welfare.
2. Career growth and maximal impact at personal, relational & systemic levels.
3. Ideal working conditions (job) – pay, load, prospects, benefits, etc.
(In that order! ☝🏽)

– Post-Christian Ministers Network:
Criteria for invitation/inclusion:
1. Christian background
2. Involvement in pastoral work/theological training/spiritual care/counseling/education/healthcare – full-time ministers or lay leaders – independent or organizational.
3. Discontentment with current local church & theology, and desire for something new/different.
4. Need for connecting with other like-minded people.

Sharing experiences & problems for peer support, mutual education, collaborative ministry projects

– Prophetic/poetic/graphic utterance
Autobiographical video essay
Friendly obscenities
Wait – इंतज़ार

– Fun games for adult parties:
Why-Because (Zen Koans), who am I? (statements about oneself that others need to identify as true or false), Sublimewe, dumb charades, win lose or draw, etc.


– tribadism


– Social horror

– Can something come out of nothing?
Can anything become nothing?


– Your internal discipline and capacity must (almost always, except in severe crises), far exceed the external demands!
That is the (only) way to stay on top of life……

– The Cross ~ Christ crucified ~ Gospel ~ Kingdom
Exaltation/elevation of the Cross

– From good to great, to worst… and back!

– I think the words spoken when someone is upset/triggered, do have truth in them!


– “The new New Testament – An original translation” by David Bentley Hart
Pitilessly literal!
Syngrammatic Vs. Phrastic style
Abrupt, incoherent, broken, terse language(s)
A flavor of the pristine raw message!
Immediacy/urgency of voice
The neatly packaged streamlined versions
From writing-reading to dictating-listening!
Problematizing Christian history & theology by reclaiming the ground level inarticulate expression of the apostles!
How does the genial Protestant get Paul so wrong?!
Original sin and inherited guilt
What were the central personal concerns that tormented Paul?
Why have we not recognized the burning heart of the message?!
Salvation as cosmic conquest
Eastern Vs. Western Christianity
World –> cosmos; Word –> logos; Blessed –> blissful
Where is the apocalyptic and eschatological cosmology in (your version of) the Gospel?!
An alien picture of reality!
How does the ancient Gospel survive the modern shift in worldview??
Distinguish titles & names – was “Jesus” a name or a title?
Making the connotation audible!
Satan –> accuser/slanderer; Christ –> anointed one
Inter-testamental literature
Fatigue –> complacent disbelief

– Friendship as truth,
And truth as friendship!

– payload

– Who is Sam Esmail?!

– What happens when you mix David Bentley Hart, Mr. Robot & Charles Baudelaire?! 🤪


– Distinguish:
Consciousness (biospiritual)
Mind (psychosocial)

– From subjective objectivity (Man) to objective subjectivity (GOD)!

– I think I can add Abel Raj to the few influencers in my life, along with K. O. John, Saraswathi G. C., etc.

– Waking up from a vivid dream is a shattering experience!

– Huntertiana

– UGK is JC’s savior!
Life – the fire that burns out all (other) passions……


– Movies:
Acidic blood!

– disvalues
Guilty by association
Spiritual passion & the social virtues
The censor as pornographer!
Ethical control
Moral paternalism
Fact-value distinction
Private autonomy & social goals
Moral luck
Valid(ating) personal styles & life-plans


– Christianity was always meant to be a marginal movement or extremist cult, never a popular mainstream religion!
The difference between a Christian & other folks is the same between a soldier & a civilian or a professional athlete and other people……
How has this plain fact become so obscured?!

– Compare Devin Townsend’s “Why?” music video and the movie “High Life”

– Beyond understanding:
Subjective subjectivity & objective objectivity

– Do you respect, appreciate & admire yourself?

– Brain development is fully complete by 25 years of age – adulthood!
1 sleep cycle ~ 1.5 – 2 hours.
4 sleep cycles at night
Total sleep (including afternoon nap) per 24 hours ~ 8 hours.


– Sade & UGK – the bliss of the poor in spirit!
What about Jesus then??
The first 2 go through the looking glass, the latter disappears when standing in front of the mirror (Timo Airaksinen)…… Right?
But Sade & UGK are also very very different from each other! How?
Where do I stand in all of this?!

– Sam Esmail (producer/director) ~ Ecorp
Mr. Robot (the series) ~ Capitalism
Me (viewer) ~ the common man

– Is it courageous to go against the value of that virtue?
An orgy of apathy
The novelist as anti-moral reformer
Post-hibernation explosion

– Sam Siddharth, Abel Raj, Saraswathi G. C., Shanthuru Premkumar, Solan Chelliah, Philip Pattabiram, etc.
Immanuel Joseph


The different kinds of difference!
(Quantitative Vs. Qualitative)


– Movies:
“Mishima – A Life in Four Chapters”
sepukku (self-disembowelment) – distinguish from harakiri.
Bushido ~ Samurai ~ soul of Japan ~ military virtue – the exact opposite of nihilism!
The harmony of pen/spirit/art & sword/body/life
Beauty >> art >> action >> glory!
There are only 2 kinds of people: Those who live to survive and those who fight for faith. And in the final analysis, there is NO middle ground!


– plebiscite
Gratitude meditation
Building raw intelligence
Deepwater Horizon

– Whatever lies before birth & after death, to what extent does/should it affect what comes in between?

– Christ – distinguish mediator & intermediary

– Worldly wealth
True riches

– Fabulous (app)
“No moment is too insignificant!”
3 things I’m grateful for:
1. Supportive spouse
2. Enough space, time & energy for a contemplative lifestyle
3. Spiritual resources for growth


– Heavy metal queens of Botswana on DW TV channel
Poverty & style – economics, aesthetics & ethics

– Monastic community
“To learn not merely to tolerate, but to delight in, the freedom of the other.”
“Civil courage depends on a God who demands responsible action in a bold venture of faith, and who promises forgiveness & consolation to the person who becomes a sinner in that venture.”
Thinly veiled autobiographical fictions
Middle-class Christian families
The later theological letters
Vicarious representative action

– Wrenching turn
The ground of being & the power of meaning

– 28.9.19

– My activities:
1. Reading & reflecting
2. Walking & conversation
3. Small group dynamics

– Ask yourself periodically:
3. Are you connected with some others around you (based on the first two)?
2. Are you pursuing personal perfection?
1. Are you saving the world?
(Transforming the future includes maintaining a few old basics.
Perfection includes balance & health.
Relationships include enjoyment & confrontation. )



What if –
There was one worship service each year, when all those who would not be willing to confess Christ/Gospel/Kingdom as their central & supreme concern, over & above survival/happiness/success (includes family, job, money, health, etc.), could abandon their Christian identity and church membership??

What exactly does “I have sinned” mean in the confession & absolution part of the Sunday liturgy??

What if, clergy were trained as equippers of battle-ready soldiers & professional athletes, instead of group therapists for civilians or club entertainers for hobbyists?

What if, the original radical ecclesiology of “church” as alternative community of resident aliens was repeated & reinforced by the character & lifestyle of the clergy, and the form & content of the Sunday liturgy?


– Philosophical probity

– “Thinking has interests which do not coincide with those of life”
‘Philosophy should be more than a sop to the pathetic twinge of human self-esteem’
– Ray Brassier


– ersatz – pursuit of truth Vs. Social utility


– Sophiology
Social psychiatry

– “Does it matter that we know that nothing matters?”
Nihilism as adventure
Nihilism as paralysis
Enlightenment & extinction
Conceptual rigor and the limits of knowledge
Distinguish nihilism & scepticism
Temporal, spatial & psychic individuation
Being-in-the-world & being-as-such
Being-out-of, being-with & being-toward
Essential, existential & empirical being
Being & time ~ matter & memory ~ difference & repetition

– Suicide – egoistic, altruistic & anomic
Death-affirmation as a form of life-orientation


– smock
idee fixe


– stochastic
Phrygian cap
Cloacal vocabulary; scatological flair
champ (v.)
Oglings & joslings
The amiable usage of time-honored abominations
Lutes & censers
Gay devilry
furze; gorse
Town watch

– Metaphysical sensuality
Reality/being, thought/mind & nothingness/negation
Sensation, intuition & conception; Knowledge & experience
Distinguish philosopher & sophist
The intelligible nothing
Empirical, objective & formal reality
Mystical dogmatism
Cultural & cognitive elements of perception
The myth of the given
The manifest image
Immediate apprehension of reality
Foundationalists Vs. Coherentists
The dialectic of immediacy & mediation
Proto-theoretical scaffolding
What is ~ essence
What seems to be ~ appearance
Inter-subjective verification
Self-conscious > sentient
A critical objectivation of subjective phenomena
The rationality of materialism and the materialism of rationality
Absolute processes
Reintegrating sentience into an expanded physicalist perspective/scientific image


– jobsworth


– Raw (movie):
Mother ~ superego
Sister ~ Id
Self ~ ego
(Father ~ God?!)

– incels
Cultural gatekeepers
Shared loneliness ~ solidarity of loathing
Online community
Art shock
Female body-politic
Dirty bomb
Cinema of repulsion
Passion & perversity
Dead ringer
Worryingly brilliant & wildly assured feature debut
Mordant fun
Forced hedonism
Domestic terror
Extremist fantasies
A misogynistic feminist

– Critiquing the reviews

– “Everything must go” – Joker

– It’s medical insurance, NOT health insurance.

– Christian Gospel = universal unconditional salvation + radical discipleship!

– Hebrew – Pilgrimage Festivals – Pesach (Passover), Shavuot (Weeks/Pentecost), Sukkot (Tabernacles/Tents)


– The Symposium
Love as the worship & science of beauty
Questionable literary personages

– Baseliology (as different from ecclesiology) – theology of the Kingdom


– Still life

– Christian – the 2 pitfalls of mysticism and legalism

– Maintain a minimal structure/discipline in your lifestyle. Rhythm – put ‘listening to the body’ above ‘stretching/pushing yourself’ – but do both (in the right order)!
When it comes to the higher level of “ought” (long-term purpose & impacting society), you can leave it behind…… 👣



– Tears – the best antidote, or the most apt complement, to depression…..!?

– yob
Sorrowful logic
Germinal space exploration

– Amrita Pritam
Clandestine influence
Popular sovereignty
Formal & material norms
Natural & positive law
Absolutist sovereign & commissarial dictatorship
Sovereign decision & naming the enemy


– If your entire life (~ 70 years) was made into a feature film or mini-series, would it be worth a box-office release or binge-watching?!

– Daily routine:
Morning ritual
Afternoon/evening ritual
Night/bedtime rirual
(Customized combinations of meditation, exercise & journaling)

– Movies:
Y tu mama tambien

– Janmashtami

– Distinguish:
Self-overcoming (Nietzsche)
Self-denial (Jesus)


– Distinguish:
Interpersonal relationships
Social roles
The latter continues very well without the support of the former, but could it also be the inverse?


– wedgies
Girls smoking & kissing – erotic ASMR

– Dreams:
Going for a joyride on the bike with Jesse & Chris, and adjusting the mobile stand…
Hanging out with Vijay & Vinod annan. Vijay is thinking of starting a new tech business…

– Foremost on my to-do list – NOTHING
Only those who know me intimately can even hope to understand what I am (not) doing……!

– Distinguish:



– All we have is ideology and critical theory. For there is no immediate (pure/natural) vision!

– There are 2 kinds of work:
1. It seems like there’s a lot going on, but nothing much is really done.
2. It seems like there’s not much going on, but actually a lot is being done.
And you know which one I belong to (according to me of course)! 😉

– From now onwards, read the footnotes & numbered references also (in non-fiction)

– Friendlies & qualifiers
Less corrigible

– Teacher’s Day greetings >> K. O. John and Saraswathi G. C.

– Distinguish:
Economic migrants
Refugees from conflict zones


– Try having (at last) one day a week completely open – dictated by the present moment/body-mood. It could morph into any combination of freak-out, abstinence, work and rhythm/random daily elements! 😁

– Fruitful disagreements
Who is Travis Bickle?

– Psychic drives posing as bodily needs!

– Learn the standard technique, then customize it using your own instincts.
The latter shapes the former…
Instead of letting the natural state dictate technology, we have done the inverse instead, and look where it’s got us!


– Flowers (theories/ideas) arising out of the soil (Real/One) – is this a good figure to illustrate Laruelle’s Non-(standard)philosophy?

– Micro-dosing LSD!

– Balaam’s ass – the body as prophet!

– Mia Khalifa Vs. Stoya
Pornstars, for & against pornography

– Reduce activation energy
Face it or replace it – behavior-mood-response


The Body As Prophet!



Presentations canceled! Emphasis on sensitivity & spontaneity.

Brief Bio (in 3-5 sentences):
Full name, age, sex, religion, church, marital status, socio-economic info, native place, family background, birthday, wedding anniversary, conversion, education, occupation, full postal address, contact info
What kind of person am I? What is unique about me? Personality,strengths, weaknesses, etc.
What are my strongest convictions and core values?
What am I passionate about? What do I want to do with my life? Hobbies

“The human spirit (breath/life) is like the lamp of the Lord, searching all his innermost parts (bowels).” – Proverbs 20:27.
“I will praise the Lord , who counsels me; even at night (the quiet darkness) my heart (kidneys) instructs me. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body (flesh) also will rest secure…” – Psalm 16:7‭, ‬9 NIV

UGK: The world mind Vs. The extraordinary intelligence of the body.
No questions for reflection! Distinguish introspection & awareness.
Alan Watts – “In order to come to your senses, you need to go out of your mind.”
From psycho-social to bio-spiritual
From artificial order to natural chaos
Body-prayer, human as cosmic/mystic being, Vidyavanam (wisdom of/from/in/through the woods)
From articulation/description (talking about) to expression/embodiment (showing)!

Via negativa – create & sustain space – and let the Emergence take place! Body/spirit/heart/passion speak (as opposed to mind/culture/society/reason)! Alternate structure/group/speech with random/solo/silence. Transcend divide between body & nature, self & other, GOD & world
15 minutes group silence >> 15 minutes solitude & reflection (writing) >> 15 minutes group sharing >> 15 minutes solitude & silence >> 15 minutes group reflection (writing) >> 15 minutes solitude & silence >> 15 minutes group sharing >> 15 minutes solitude & silence……
Do this for 4 hours in the morning and then 2 hours in the afternoon.
Expression & sharing – no social roles, not about others, not the past or future. Dig deep (into the abyss)! Inwardness. Learning to be present, open & willing – detached, non-judgmental observation.
Start each session with group silence (9 am & 3 pm).
Silence – focus on your breathing. Relax. Enjoy (minimal thinking). Feel your own body and become more aware your immediate surroundings (sensing). No reflection.
Solitude – Walk around, lie down, balancing, stretch, move joints, posture, etc. Hug trees. Walk barefoot. Stare at the sky. Smell the air.
Expression – record what comes out of your silence and share it in the group. Use your wrong hand to write (Saras)! Drawing, poetry, etc.
Group silence – 3 deep breaths >> eye-contact with everyone >> holding hands (for 3 deep breaths) >> relax & focus on breathing
Group sharing – no recording of others’ sharing. Reflection/writing after sharing by everyone allowed.
No one is allowed to speak even one word out of turn! Shake hands & embrace at the end of last session of the day.
5 minutes buffer in between sessions. Half an hour sessions on 2nd day? Start sessions from noon of first day and finish last session by afternoon of 3rd day. From now onwards, plan retreat for 3 nights & 3 days. First retreat in Kolli Hills (narrative) should’ve been named “Everything is Stories”. This retreat will be called “Together in Solitude”.
Communication via:
Eating together!
Couplings – group & solo; silence & communication; structured & random



Sent invite via WhatsApp, blog, email, Meetup, Facebook Events.

Take my board, erasable markers & microfiber cloth. Singing bowl

Everyone bring hardcover notebook & pen. Watch.

Retreat intro ~ 15 minutes

Print handouts – Welcome & intro, bio, contact info, feedback

Take group photo, make collage, print & distribute

Single rooms only (or dorm) – couples cannot live together.
No chatting allowed from 7 am – 5 pm.
Mobile phone or books or music – not allowed throughout the retreat except for emergency.

Breakfast 7:30-8 am
Tea 11 am
Lunch 1 pm
Tea 4 pm
Dinner 8:15 pm

Start first session @ 8:30
Sleep 1:30 – 2:30 pm
Second hakd begins @ 2:30

Mass 7:15 am
Breakfast 8 am
Day 1:
Arrive at venue – 8 am
Breakfast – 8-9 am
Get settled – 9-10 am
Session 1: 10 am – 1 pm (share bios, get & share contact info)
Lunch – 1-1:30 pm
Nap/relax – 1:30-3 pm
Session 2: 3-6 pm
Casual/free time – 6-11 pm (includes tea & dinner)
Wind down & sleep – 11 pm

1st (group) session of day 1 – retreat intro and personal bios.
10 am – 6 pm – strict silence & contemplative mood

Daily breakdown:
Sleep ~ 8 (7+1) hours
Sessions ~ 6-8 hours
Casual/free time ~ 6 hours (includes dinner)
Miscellaneous ~ 4 hours (hygiene, breakfast & lunch)

Day 2:
Wake up – 7 am
Hygeine – 7-8 am
Breakfast – 8-8:30 am
Session 1: 8:30 am – 12:30 pm
Lunch – 12:30-1 pm
Nap/relax – 1-2:30 pm
Session 2: 2:30-6 pm
Casual/free time – 6-11 pm (includes tea & dinner)
Wind down & sleep – 11 pm

Day 3:
Wake up – 7 am
Hygeine – 7-8 am
Breakfast – 8-8:30 am
Session 1: 8:30 am – 12:30 pm
Lunch – 12:30-1 pm
Nap/relax – 1-2 pm
Session 2: 2-5 pm
Last 1 hour (4-5 pm):
Feedback & evaluation
Contact info – keeping in touch & follow-up
Closing comments
Tea, pack-up & goodbyes ~ 5-6 pm
Disperse ~ 6 pm



Early morning 1 session
Lights off by 10 pm
Use of AV aids in presentation
Coordinate practical arrangements beforehand
Make participants reflect/repeat the rules
Enforce format strictly
Rehearse by live guided activity



– galosh

– Cross-platform compatibility
Car/bike pooling app
Preview & review

– Movies:
வழக்கு எண் 18/9


– Use these great apps for self-improvement:
1. Habitbull – habit tracker
2. Sanvello – mental health assist (for stress, anxiety & depression)
3. Lumosity – brain games
4. Calm – mindful meditation
Also try
Fabulous: self care

– Holidays/vacation
2 days a week + 14 days a year (1 week * 2)

Enhanced blacklist


– DRL – deepening reflexive living/learning/loving ~ Sublimewe
Fluffy ~ mic ~ verbal exchange ~ relational ~ me
Bell-stick ~ remote control ~ sonic/silent, vibration/energy ~ ambiance ~ us
Trophy ~ brake & gear ~ non-verbal internal ~ body ~ we/vertical
5.1 (5 parts + 1 accessory) surround sound!
Trophy invitation & vicarious healing
Hand gestures – 1. Thumb to heart – asking for reflection of the fluffy from someone else – why not just use interjection or trophy for this?! 2. Reply gesture – pointing to the fluffy – the voice asking for a relevant & satisfying reply – why not just ask & then the others point?
Can we introduce touch into the mix (especially as response to/support for trophy)?! Most are deprived &/or suspicious – needing & resistant – messy grey area. Sexual circles and sexual abuse.
Inner & outer balance/dance
2 mirrors facing >> infinite reflection!
Holding the whole. Capacity for curiosity
Why eKo – echo?? Distinguish repetition, response & reflection
Where 2 or 3 are gathered in this way, they could gain access to the source of their life & growth. You & I matter equally
Mutual co-hearting – core-couple for forming the us – enough trust, to ask for support from the triggering person! Confidence in the process/design/instrument
Emboldened to find one’s home group ~ my Us
Gradation in the non-verbal to verbal. As many trophies as there are players!
Integration of feeling, saying & doing
Role-modeling – can you please do as I do, back to me, so that you & me can thrive…? “Things are easier said than done!”
Family/systems therapy
System conditions, to read (bring out the pathos) between the lines (of the verbal), and to articulate the deep-scape (communicate/share in language)
Unasked offerings by the us-person
Avoiding blind-spots that lead to dead-ends
How easily can you say no to this person?
Distinguish: Interjection & Reply – different gestures
Distinguish deepening the current thread and starting a new thread
Stop sign – hand gesture – only the fluffy has the right?
When you are itching for the fluffy, then maybe you need a trophy. And if you cannot reflect, then you need a trophy.


– Who is Michaela Benitez?

– Antitrust rules

– Cut losses
Professional stereotype
Repo rate
The history of inequality
“Predictably irrational”
Global conflagration
Core rituals
Re-engineer your physical, economic & social environment

– Movies:
“The Job” by Siddharth Kumar (on Hotstar Cineplay)
“Private Life”


– Non-linearity
Complexity ~ chaos ~ uncertainty
From prediction to description – humbling development!
Sensitive dependence on initial conditions
Weird science
The butterfly effect
Strange attractor
Randomizing device
The limited chaos of turbulent fluids ~ constrained randomness
Interference pattern
Dynamical analysis
Underlying order, undercut by more chaos……! The chaos of order and the order of chaos
Non-linear dynamicist & cardiology
Radical (non-periodic) chaoticizing
Clear pathway to & from chaos
Low-dimensional dynamism & high dimensional chaos
Pathological synchronization
The untutored and the trained eye
Active desynchronization via lateral inhibition
Arrhythmic functions
Pathological order and healthy chaos
Mathematical/computational analysis of physiological data
What functional advantages could chaotic behavior provide?
The search for optimization
The controlled randomness of a chaotic system – Job 38:8-11!
Disorder & determinism
Spontaneous emergence

– UGK questions whether we could ever arrive at a method of education that would prepare children to navigate the world as it exists, WITHOUT damaging their innate originality & creativity…… He thinks people like Jiddu Krishnamurti, Rudolph Steiner, etc. have only failed at this project!

– What would the EEG of UGK look like?! And what could we possibly learn from it??
“What chaos? What order?” – UGK

– Pariah & parrhesia
Sex > sexuality, & sexuality > sex
Distinguish aversion & perversion
Queer knowledge-practice ~ manifesting practice-knowledge
“telling it as it is”
“It could be otherwise”
The prude-in-denial
From Queer Studies to the New Pornography
“…put one’s body & soul at risk, to make that polemical condition of life itself accessible, hearable, readable, graspable, right here, right now.”
Riffing off
“The work of the New Porn is at once immemorially archaic, always yet to come, and yet nothing other than the impossibility (for knowledge) of: here, now, this.”
From heteronormativity to homonormativity to antinormativity as primary political gesture
The ob-scene
“What kind of critical attention can avoid the slide into analytic normativity?”
“Each resistant act is bound to its reigning definition”
From (political) identity to (actual) sex
“There are no proper objects of queer inquiry, only improper ones”
Arguing, to stay in the mess, bearing (with) it, investing it with fascination, & even love!
Bareback sex with auto-ethnographical confessions
“Sexuality, in this sense perhaps, can only mean, queer sexuality”
Unlimited intimacy
Considered too disgusting/offensive, even for queer theory
Rethinking perversion in anti-identitarian ways
Succumbing to the temptation to sanitize
Non-clinical psychoanalyst
Abject stranger

– What would a non-socialized soma look & work like?? Could it even survive (on its own)?! A still-born or an atom bomb……?

– desuetude
“The horse & his boy”


– It’s not what you get that makes you rich, it’s how you use what you have!

– 1Sam. 16:10

– 30.8.19

– Morning, afternoon/evening & night ritual
உலகத் தமிழன்

– Distinguish:
Self-discipline & masochism
Critical feedback & sarcasm